At one time when the police came up with an idea of prohibiting cars with tinted windows, it reminded me of one incident and unquestionably, police had a point. You know these days I had specialized in bedding regular mummies. So about two weeks ago, I landed on a very hot one who did not mind where and how we did it! She drove a posh Prado that had tinted windows and I think I am in love with cars that have tinted windows because I know how useful they can be in times of need.
I got to know Mama Tom, as I later learnt she was called from a very close friend of hers ( also very aged) through this phone chatting business that has hit Kampala like the infamous Katrina hurricane. We chatted erotically on phone for about two weeks until we were ready to meet each other. All through our chats, she referred to me as ‘baby boy’ and assured me that just in case I needed anything, I shouldn’t hesitate to tell her. Mbu she would help me in all ways possible! I knew I was ‘in things’.
And you all know how expensive Kampala has become for almost everybody one of these days; we are all trying to survive so there was no way I was going to let go of such a huge chance. The kinds of messages she was sending me on my mobile…uhhhmm.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize that Ugandans have surely gone mad. For a person of her age to engage herself in such a perverted manner as if she was a tiger in bed! If you’ve heard about phone s3x, that is exactly what we were having! All night, all day long. Eventually, I think she got fed-up of phone s3x and she requested that we meet and she gives me live!
At first I was a bit reluctant to meet her but my “Oliver Twist’ whopper couldn’t allow me deny it this hot live wire coupled with the benefits it brings along with. So as agreed, she called me at 12:30pm and we decided that we meet at Antonio’s Grill, which was convenient for me since my car had ‘broken down’. She described how she was dressed kin valentine colors and wearing too much jewelry. Sincerely speaking the picture I got of her was like that of a witch doctor! I also described to her how I was dressed. At 1:00pm sharp, I stormed Antonio’s, all feeling like a mafia. I looked left and right as if I was some sort of intelligence person; pocketing and feeling the one, I was dressed like a cow-boy.
I spotted a group of wanabes all staring at me like I was from planet mars. “They are so lucky I have missed them because I am to meet somebody,” I said to myself. It was also my day to harvest gold. I positioned myself in the corner and waited for my catch. Immediately she walked in, I could tell she was the one. The word ‘sugar mummy’ was written all over her face. She looked every inch horny and she recognized me. She walked to me and gave me a very tight hug that gave me an insight on what I was to receive.
“Nice to meet you my baby boy,” she said. Indeed I was her baby boy oblivious of our plans, I overheard people say, “Ohhh bambi, what a loving mum, she must have missed her son s much! She actually looks like some nkuba kyeyo!” she was putting on tight, very short skirt and the more I looked at her yellow thighs, the more my whopper got aggressive! The thing wanted to pop out just like that!
I kept brushing her legs playfully using my legs under the table. The way I was doing it, you would think I was a tailor busy at work. I could tell that this was really working for her because her eyes started getting teary. She suggested that we leave the place and ohhh…I couldn’t wait. We were getting closer to the real moment. She was ripe, am telling you she was ripe. Imagine I had to support her like a patient all the way to her Prado that was parked along Kampala road!
She had come along with a driver, I think because she wanted to start her business right from the car. Her windows were thoroughly tinted and nobody could ever guess what was inside. We took the Jinja road and just as we were branching off at the round about to go to Garden City, a traffic officer stopped us because the driver was at break neck speed and had almost finished off a ka boda-boda guy who was trying to joke with him.
When the driver stopped, the Afande ordered him to put his windows down. Big mama was now ‘dead’ with horn and she was trembling like a wet duck not knowing what was even going on. I apologized to the officer and told him that our mama was in a critical condition and we were rushing her to Mulago.
“You should have used an ambulance because your car is even in a sorry state! It is shaking terribly, will that patient get to Mulago alive?” he said disgustedly before he let us off. We continued with our business behind as the driver continued with his. What happened, I cannot tell you now but all I remember is that I woke up and found ourselves parked at Garden City basement. Talk of blacking out on s3x!
Till then I remain yours truly, the might Hyena.
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