A sexual abuse survivor has described how a character reference for her brother sounded “more like a wedding speech” after it was delivered in court following his conviction.
Gerald Henry was found guilty of habitually sexually abusing his younger sisters — Miriam and Irene — when they were just children earlier this month.
He was given a fully suspended sentence and placed on the Sex Offenders Register.
Gerald Henry, of Kiltomey, Lixnaw, Tralee, Kerry, was aged 12 when he began the abuse and continued sexually abusing his two siblings until he was 16.
Now aged 43, he maintains his innocence and was the subject of two glowing character references which Miriam described as completely unnecessary and re-traumatising.
Miriam describes the fully suspended sentence — handed down on July 9 — as “justice in its most pathetic form”. Miriam, who is now 37, and her sister Irene, 40, said she listened with horror to two character references which paid testament to Gerald’s character at Tralee Circuit Court.
“Hearing them being read out loud was like watching a best man deliver his wedding speech,” Miriam told the Irish Examiner.
“We had to sit there and listen to all the nice things people had to say about him used as mitigating circumstances. How people feel about him as a 43-year-old man makes no difference to what he did to us as a teenager.
We didn’t just listen to this once. We had to listen to it a second time
“We had just given our victim impact statements, yet it was those words that were left floating in the air. All the kind words about him just made everything we had said seem like one big lie, and that was how it ended.”
Miriam says she wants to see an end to the practice of providing character references for people found guilty in child sex abuse cases.
The Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and Human Trafficking) Bill 2023, is expected to make changes to the practice of supplying character references for criminals guilty of sexual offences — including rape.
Under the proposed amendments, anyone providing a character reference will need to do so under oath or via an affidavit. Individuals providing references must also swear to the veracity of their statement and expect to be called before the court for cross-examination if necessary.
However, rather than changes to how character references are supplied, Miriam wants to see them abolished.
![Miriam has started a petition in support of her call to abolish character references in child sex abuse cases. Picture: Patrick Browne Miriam has started a petition in support of her call to abolish character references in child sex abuse cases. Picture: Patrick Browne](https://www.irishexaminer.com/cms_media/module_img/8435/4217710_6_articleinline_Miriam_20Henry_205.jpg)
“They need to be gotten rid of altogether, because there’s no necessity for them to be in court,” Miriam said.
“There is no point standing up and saying that this 43-year-old man is fantastic if you didn’t know him when the abuse happened. Them saying these things won’t make what happened to us any different.”
Miriam has now started a petition in support of her call to abolish character references in child sex abuse cases.
She also wants to see reform of the judicial system to promote a more compassionate approach to dealing with sexual abuse victims.
She was just six years old when the abuse started, and every day she and her sister spent recently in Tralee Circuit Court was “like being hit by a train”.
“When it comes to the legal process — and particularly the last two weeks with the trial process — that’s something I don’t want anybody else going through. Nobody should have to go through that blindly, which is what the case is at the moment.”
She believes victims and not properly informed or prepared.
“You’re given no information about what’s going to happen,” she added.
Nobody tells you anything, so you are going in every day and getting hit by a train
“He gets all the information upfront. He knows what’s going to happen and what’s going to be said. He gets to see from the book of evidence and build his whole case around that.
“Meanwhile, we — the victims — are going in every day and hearing brand new information we have no entitlement to hear prior to court. The simple fact that this even happens at the trial is mind-blowing. Any knowledge we had was learned day-by-day.”
Miriam, who now lives in Waterford, says she found dealing with gardaí challenging.
“At times, I regret going to the gardaí because the last six years have been hell,” she said.
“You are given no information. It feels like nobody cares. There is definitely more training needed, and I can only hope that people working in these positions are saying the same thing.
“It’s important that people take a stand and say ‘we don’t have enough knowledge or experience to do our jobs correctly’ or ‘we need more training’. I really hope they are also aware of this issue.”
Miriam and Irene’s bravery has prompted an outpouring of support from other sexual abuse survivors.
!['Being in the courtroom was like entering another dimension, and we’re still coming round from it all.' 'Being in the courtroom was like entering another dimension, and we’re still coming round from it all.'](https://www.irishexaminer.com/cms_media/module_img/8432/4216348_19_articleinline_iStock-126236054_1_.jpg)
“I have been contacted by so many people,” Miriam said.
“Some were abused as children. Others told me they were raped as teenagers or had been the victims of sexually aggressive crimes as adults.
Miriam said victims need more supports.
“The system is broken and it’s so sad to think of everyone who went through the process and never got justice. You are not protected and are an afterthought in most of these trials. Giving our victim impact statements was obviously a very traumatic thing to go through, but it was him who got the last word.”
A survivor and now an advocate for change, Miriam points out the horrific impact her brother’s abuse had on her life.
“He robbed me of my childhood. I don’t want to think about my childhood, because he’s always there. He’s taken everything from me. It’s the same for my sister. We don’t have any relationship with our parents. He took that from us too.
“I realise it was my mother’s choice to support him, but we are never going to do the little things like visit the family home again. We are never going to look at childhood pictures. It was only when I went to secondary school and started learning about sex and relationships that I realised what happened to me wasn’t right.
“This meant that part of my teenage years was stolen from me as well. I left Kerry hours after my Leaving Certificate. My sister did the very same. In the last 19 years, I’ve been back three times.
“You would wonder who is more likely to have stayed local where the trial is happening. It was never going to be the victims. He lives down the road and could drive in every day for the trial with very little expense to him. He got to sleep in his own bed and eat his own food. This is very different to the victim’s experience. He still stands by his not guilty plea. That to me is sociopathy.”
!['I can make change for victims who come after me.' Picture: Patrick Browne 'I can make change for victims who come after me.' Picture: Patrick Browne](https://www.irishexaminer.com/cms_media/module_img/8435/4217704_10_articleinline_Miriam_20Henry_2010.jpg)
Miriam says she is keen to speak out in support of sexual abuse survivors across the country, as there are some people who have never spoken of their abuse and have nobody to campaign for them.
“My biggest concern is that people are becoming jaded by these stories, because it’s every week. Every week there’s another story. There’s another rally. There’s another petition. I just hope the general public aren’t getting to the point where they’re “saying here we go again” because it’s important that everyone gets the support. This is not just about me.
“I want them to support everybody including the victims who never tell anyone. There are people out there who never tell another soul. This is for everybody who has been victimised.
“Sadly, there is no one immune to this process. It could happen to anyone regardless of their age, location or who they are.”
Support
Miriam explains how she no longer speaks to her mother.
“My mother sat in the courtroom every day supporting him. She still supports him. The only time that she looked at me during those two weeks was when I was sitting in the witness box giving my evidence, and she was sitting just over the right shoulder of the prosecution senior counsel,” Miriam said.
“She wasn’t looking at me thinking ‘there’s my lovely daughter who I miss so much’. I don’t exist to her anymore. I’m probably dead to her.”
She is fulsome in her praise of Kerry Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre for supporting both sisters through the painful process.
“The only kind of saving grace was that the court has a victim support room. There is a PIN code to open the door and you have your own toilet, which means you don’t have to see anyone.
“For us, it wasn’t just about seeing the accused. You’re also having to look at your mother who is there to support him.
“We didn’t have to face in to that every day. Caroline from the Kerry Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre was with us every step of the way. She used to meet us in the c park. Our mother was parking in there as well as our brother’s wife. It was the only place to park so we were running the gamut every day.
“Only for Caroline, we would have gone through that alone as well. She went out to buy us lunch so we didn’t have to risk seeing anybody. She then walked us back to the car park in the evening. I don’t know how the week would have gone if we didn’t have her to deal with.”
Returning to their everyday lives has been challenging for Miriam and Irene.
“I think he thought we were going to drop out at the last minute or give up because the process is not victim-centred.
“However, even if we had decided that we didn’t want to anymore, gardaí would still have to continue with the case because they are prosecuting a crime. They may not have got very far because they didn’t have their victims but it still would have continued. It’s not like we could drop out and have that be the end of it.
“We are still recovering from going into the courtroom every day. It was like being hit by a train, only to go in the next day and be hit by another train. We are just trying to get back to normal and put this behind us in terms of the anticipation and anxiety in the run-up to the trial.
“Being in the courtroom was like entering another dimension, and we’re still coming round from it all.”
Miriam said there is one positive thing to have come from the trial and her brother’s conviction.
“The only positive I can take away from this is that he was found guilty and his name is going to be out there. There is nobody who is ever going to question my truth again,” she added.
“I don’t like saying his name. I’ll never have to go to a family gathering and have someone ask me how my brother is. There is also an element of positivity to the possibility that I can make change for those who come after me. We can only hope that the legislation will have changed in one or two years and it won’t be as horrific for the next person.”
– If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.